You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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