Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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