i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
