I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize