If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
