I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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