bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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