and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
