didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
