my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
