summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
