so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
