Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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