I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
