my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
