We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
