Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
