you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
