I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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