I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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