i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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