So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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