my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
