Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
