You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
