I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
