where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
