Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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