Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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