Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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