the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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