with your own penis?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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