He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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