D3 body, D1 cock
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
