I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
