So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
