he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
