I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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