But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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