how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
