i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
