have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
