There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
