She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
