Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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