my shit smells like andre
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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