He is an equal opportunity slut.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
