u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
