yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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