lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
