sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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