Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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